Mentoring Moms
Sharing your experiences to help other moms
Reflect
Think about leasing you’ve learned as a mom and how your experiences can help other moms who are less experienced. This might include getting children to bed, fun activities, motivating children to clean their rooms and messes, as well as how to enjoy the joyful moments.
Think of the stories of what happened on bad days and good days, as we all learn from stories. That’s the easiest way to share advice and not sound like you are lecturing or putting someone down. The ideas of what worked or did not work is embedded within the story. You can end by asking have she’s experienced those types of days too? Then listen and respond.
Share Your Ideas
Share your stories and let the ideas flow as part of the story. Be real and show that you are imperfect. That makes it easier for other moms to share their problems and their joys too. It shows that you will accept them, imperfections, and all, and helps to build bonds.
Listen. Ask what a child did well lately or what made them laugh. Listen to understand where the mom is at now. Listen to discover how the mom is doing emotionally. What are her biggest struggles and greatest joys? What has she overcome to praise? What are her dreams and goals. It might simply be to have dinner ready on time or get a child to bed easier.
Connect
Show empathy and share laughter of common frustrations and joys as well as the antics of children. Your children may be grown but you probably recall various incidents, especially if you had a strong willed or extra curious child.
Consider when to chat or meetup. Going out to a park or getting together for tea of coffee can be an easy plan for talking. Or consider chatting after children fall asleep. A neutral, quiet location promotes a relaxed conversation.
Find common interests or the other mom’s talent to praise and appreciate. Reinforce the mom’s abilities and successes. Show empathy for her struggles. That helps you connect on a deeper level. Also discover where she is in her faith walk and how open she is to study some scriptures together.
Be Prepared
Be ready to share resources and ideas. Also be prepared to remain quiet if the mom is overwhelmed and doesn’t respond well to advice. She may thing your ideas are a way of criticizing her, and if her ego is fragile, that will push her away. Sometimes moms just want a sounding board for a while before they are comfortable listing to advise.
Look into a mom study you could do together. Growing a Mother’s Heart book and companion Bible study could be a good place to start. The devotional book can bring laughter, tears, and stimulate conversation. The study includes lots of practical tips and assessments to understand their children and themselves better. Find these online or at square.
Benefits of Self-care
Both you and anyone you mentor needs self-care. When you feel whole and well, it’s easier to help others. When the person you help can lower stress and be more relaxed they move forward more easily and can make changes to ease their stress.
So, be sure to eat healthy, get plenty of rest, and take some fun breaks. Keep a list of what helps you relax and d-stress. Ask your mentee what helps her relax. It might be taking a long shower or hot bath after the children fall asleep, reading a book, or spending time outdoors.
Boundaries
Set some boundaries of chatting about best times to call and when you are available. Ask the mom what times are best for her and what format she prefers for keeping in touch, whether, meeting up, texting, or phone.
Be willing to help another mom and pray for her daily. Sometimes they simply need to know someone cares and listens.
You’ll find mentoring fulfilling as you help a mom who responds and bonds with you.
Blessings,
Karen
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